I'm learning the hard way that Serenity is very much a state of mind. It's sort of the "love the one you're with", "bloom where you are planted" scenario in which you get to make some choices, but for the most part you learn to find peace in the moment.
It has been a challenging year. Lawsuits from neighbors, aging parent, adult children finding their way, business ownership....
But, so far it has also been a wonderful year and I am learning to focus on the wonderfulness. I have found a new church community that is diverse and interesting, led by an inspiring woman. It is creative and loving but perhaps what I like most right now is how accepting it is of people, whoever they are, wherever they are and they love celebrations. I'm all about celebrating anything and everything!
My former church is far from home and as I get older I am finding peace in staying close and discovering new things about my community, being a better steward in a way. I'll maintain my Wednesday morning prayer group in the east end, as it has been a source of strength, comfort, inspiration, and love for many a year. The women there are wise and I wouldn't have known them any other way, and really, they have been my "church" for several years.
My farewell to the other church is bittersweet. My best friend still goes there (thankfully on Wednesday AM, too) and we won't be coming up with high jinks togethers as one of the BRAS-back row altos any more, my children were raised with the help of some of those folks as I was a single mom-which was the main reason I stayed there, one less change for them, and I felt a sense of duty to serve there in gratitude. So, it is sad to let go of that but the gratitude will always be there. But, it has some not so fond memories associated with it as well and it is freeing to let go of those.
I've had two weeks with very little work to do in my business, which is a little scary when it comes to paying bills, but has afforded me a great time of rest and fun in preparation for the last quarter which is always my busiest time of the year. I've had serenity to enjoy it as the beginning of the year was busy and there is money in the bank for this slow time. Joy, joy!
My plans for play today have been thwarted by the clouds. I wanted to experiment with my new light reactive dyes and it is the cloudiest day we've had in months! But, peace will come from a few hours spent in the depressing basement of JUNK, making it less depressing and more mind freeing, so really in the long run it will be a boost to serenity spending some time down there. If I'm brave enough, I'll take some before and after pictures. Just try not to faint from the horror of the original condition.
Still pursuing....it's a journey. Isn't it always?